


When I Am Laid in Earth

by LydianNode



Series: A Life At the Opera [7]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst, Deathbed, Gen, Language, M/M, Upsetting subject matter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-07 02:52:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17357561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LydianNode/pseuds/LydianNode
Summary: The summons falls on a grey November afternoon:  "He's asking for you. Come as soon as you can. Please."





	When I Am Laid in Earth

The summons falls on a grey November afternoon: "He's asking for you. Come as soon as you can. Please" 

Brian's clogs tap on the polished floors like a drumbeat as Jim leads him to the master bedroom. "He'll be so glad to see you. Just...you need to know that he's..." Jim can't continue. He shakes his head, forces a smile, and opens the door. 

The oxygen in Brian's body is suddenly, brutally extracted when he sees Freddie lying in his bed. He's a mere shell now, as white as the pillows propping him up, as white as bleached bones. Only the expressive brown eyes bear any resemblance to the man Brian loves so much. 

_Oh, God, no, it's real._

There's no miracle after all, nothing that will stop this inexorable march to the grave. 

"Ah, Brian, good." Freddie coughs, then takes in a rough, rattling breath. "Jim, my love, will you give us a few minutes?" 

Jim withdraws, discreetly. 

"I'm so glad you're here. Sit down." Freddie's voice is so painfully thin, yet he sounds cheerful as he pats the place beside him. "No, not in that awful chair. Here, with me." 

Brian perches on the edge of the bed, taking care not to jostle the frail man who bravely smiles up at him. He can't bear to look at him. He can't bear to look away, either. 

"That's better. Now I can see you properly." Ghostly-cold fingers wrap around Brian's warm ones. Brian wants to scream, or cry, or just pretend this entire wretched year never happened. 

"Can I...do you need...is there anything...?" Brian is at a loss for words, all the poetry bled out of him. 

Freddie inclines his head toward the nightstand, where a manila envelope is propped against the lamp. "That's...it's my will. I need you to witness it for me. Would you do that for me, darling?" 

_No. No, no._

But Brian picks up the document anyway. _I, Freddie Mercury, being of sound mind..._ It's too awful, too FINAL. He can't make himself read it thoroughly. The pen skitters across the paper twice before he can control his hand enough to sign on the line over his typed name: Brian Harold May. 

"Did you notice anything odd?"

Brian shakes his head. He feels dizzy. "Other than my barely being able to hang on to a pen?" 

Freddie's smile is affectionate. Warm. "I'm not leaving you anything. Nor Roger, nor Deacy. But you didn't even notice that, did you?" Brian just stares at him, his mind filled with static. 

_Fine. Don't leave me anything. Just don't leave me._

"You didn't. That's why I only asked you to sign. I knew Roger would've spotted that right away and pouted about it whilst Deacy added up the numbers. But you - I can always rely on you to do the kindest thing, no questions asked." 

Brian takes Freddie's hand again, presses it to his lips, and holds it there. It's all he can offer other than the hot tears that spill over, bathing their interlaced fingers. He knows this is the exact opposite of what he should be doing, knows he's making a spectacle of himself. 

Freddie pulls his hand away and strokes Brian's cheek. "Stop that," he commands, but gently, with a touch of humour as he cocks an eyebrow. "I utterly forbid you to cry."

"Too late now," Brian chokes out between sobs. 

Freddie hums softly, his thin fingers playing with Brian's curls. "You're getting my fucking deathbed wet," he complains, which makes them both laugh. Brian wipes his eyes with the back of one hand and holds on to Freddie with the other. 

_Don't leave me._

"You've given us so much, for so long." They've had twenty brilliant, exasperating, imperfectly perfect years of music and brotherhood. "God, Fred, you gave us Queen. What more could we want?" 

His question must be the answer Freddie is seeking. He relaxes into the nest of pillows, beaming. "There you are - I was wondering where your astonishing brain had wandered off to." He coughs again, wincing, his voice starting to shred under the strain. "Tomorrow there's going to be a press release, about my having AIDS. Let John and Roger know it's coming, please. I don't want to blindside them." 

_Oh, fuck. I can't, I'm not ready..._

"One more thing." Freddie looks down at his hands, shyly, then back up at Brian. "It's not entirely true, my not leaving you anything." 

Brian shakes his head. "You don't have to--" 

"The music." His next breath is ragged. "Queen's music, and my music. I want you to take care of it for me. Keep it alive when I'm gone. Keep playing it. Promise me?" 

"Anything you want. I promise." Brian's voice sounds like a scratched LP. His throat feels like sandpaper. 

"The tapes from Montreux, the ones we didn't use on 'Innuendo' - I'd like for you to finish them. Do one last Queen album, for old times' sake." 

"Roger and Deacy won't want to do that."

"That's too fucking bad. Tell them I insisted." Freddie's eyes glint with mischief, in painful contrast to his gaunt, pale face. "Tell them it's because I love them so much. That'll work." 

Brian nods, tries to smile. Tries to ignore the lead weight in his chest. Tries to think of something clever to say, but nothing will come out. 

"I've finally left Brian May at a loss for words." Freddie snuggles deeper into the pillows, his eyelids drooping. "I can die happy now." 

"Freddie..." 

"None of that, it's not allowed. C'mere." Freddie beckons him with a crook of the finger, with the smile that conquered the world. Brian leans close enough for Freddie to whisper into his ear. "It's all true, you know. I do love the three of you. So damn much." 

"We know," Brian whispers back. "And we love you." He swallows hard, blinks back another flood of treacherous tears. "I love you." 

"Sweet boy." Freddie sounds farther away somehow, as if a door is closing between them. 

Brian pulls himself up, standing on legs that don't feel strong enough to support the burden. He sways for a moment, then swoops down, places one hand on each side of Freddie's pillows, and kisses him on the forehead. "Good night, Freddie." 

Freddie sighs and presses his lips to Brian's cheek, holds him close for a long moment before leaning back on the bed. "Goodbye, my darling. It's been wonderful." 

_It's been so, so much more,_ Brian thinks as he takes one last look at his extraordinary, beloved friend. 

_It's been made in Heaven._

**Author's Note:**

> This is the final chapter of the series. Thank you to everyone who read it and left such lovely comments. They mean the world to me.
> 
> I've started a Tumblr! Find me here: lydiannode.tumblr.com .


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